Hate that I love you

Can you believe it another 10 days has just flown by! Once again I have a list of blogs to write! haha it's like i hold off so long that I just need a good blogging purge to set my mind at ease and make my life complete! Let me just tell you a bit about my day. It was quite remarkable, full, busy, exciting, adventurous, blessed, and fruitful!

So first let me start with the irony that comprised of yesterday's eve. SOOO first of all I am so excited because I extended my gym membership to every day instead of only 3 days a week for only $9. And the guy is so full of crap! He was like well you need to do it today because the offer isn't good after 8pm or something. And he was like "and I'm not lying" and really I wasn't even thinking about it until he said it, then I was like YES YOU ARE! (in my head of course!) So he's like ok come back in like a half hour with your wallet. And I was thinking...well what would you do if I came back tomorrow, but I was like well why not, so I did. ANYWHO....

So after FHE which was fun! We played kickball! That is so 6th grade and I loved every minute of it! Then we played on the marry-go-round! That's right! And swings!!! Then sat at the top of this giant hill that over looked the city lights! It was a perfect night! After the perfection we decided to go to Spencer's to play Rock Band (I am getting a not so cute obsession for that stupid game!!!) But alas his brother was watching a movie, so we decided to go see Juno at the dollar, and I want to see it so bad so I was excited.

Well long story short Sarah's car pretty much gave up the ghost, so we missed that movie, but ended up seeing 27 Dresses, for the third time. Lol I really do love that movie though!!! So after the movie Spence and I got into a friendly little discussion sharing our opposing oppions about the movie. IE:
He said it's so not fair that the guys have to always lie to the girl in movies, that is not reality, and all of this other stuff that he was really passionate about...so passionate that I was so scared I stopped listening, and made faces with Sarah!
I said that I loved how it was a real life situation! There is always someone prettier than you who steals your man! And sometimes they are even close to you...a sister, or like a sister! So real!

Ok you ready? Here comes the irony. So I get this text from Rob half way through the movie saying "Dude sorry I didn't text back I was in the theater. I just saw Juno! SOO GOOD!" Wow that is so funny because if things had gone according to plan I would have been in that very same theater! WEIRD!!!!

Another weird occurrence from yesterday...So earlier I totally spaced that I didn't have work, and then I remembered when I pulled into the parking lot and it was virtually empty. So I texted by boss (or so I thought) Tim Perkins and said "we don't have work right?" So latty dauh, went about my day, assumed we didn't since he never texted back and went on with my great day. Then at like 10 I get this text from Tim Pierson! Tim is on a mission....in Ghana!! I was so confused and it just said simply "right" I was SOOOO utterly confused!

Luckily I own a blackberry so I could see what I wrote and at that moment I realized that I accidentally sent the text that was supposed to go to my boss to the wrong Tim P! I mean just look at the names, simple mistake. But the weird thing wasn't that I made a mistake, the odd thing was that I got a text back!!! What the F-bomb!?!? So I inquired more of this mysterious texter, obviously it wasn't Tim, but who had his phone? And could it be possible that it was him? I know he has been sick and being threatened with being sent home....Ah! Mind boggling.

Anywho never really got any concrete answers on that one, but isn't that just so crazy!?!?! Now I want to know where exactly in the world is Tim Pierson! So sorry if you are getting bored, you may stop here if you want, but you might regret it when you realize that you missed out on hearing about my day today!! I talked to Rob in the car about it from the moment I got in to 5 minutes after we picked up Erika in Midvale...haha

So last night I actually went home at a decent time, and by decent it was like 12:30 AM. It was so hard, I wanted to stay and hang out, I had to peel myself away! :( But it was worth it when my alarm sounded at 7:15 feeling like a dream. So I got dressed, and headed out to face the world! I subbed for Jacklin Elementary's kindergarten. First of all when I was half way there I realized that I did not allow myself time enough to be there 15 minutes early...woops! Then it took for freaking ever to find because it was hidden in the middle of all of these dead end neighborhoods.

After about the 6th wrong street I finally happened upon the right one! Then I got there and turns out the kindergarten has it's own building! Weird! So I proceeded to trek onwards. Reaching my destination, I had to immediately let the kids in because I was a bit late, not giving myself any time to read the lesson plan for the day! While they entered I briefed myself on the first task. It was so crazy! I relied on those 6 year olds so much! "where is the CD player?" "what do I do when this happens?" ect. haha It was fun though, but annoying because I had about 4 kids who DID not get the worksheets! And all they had to do was count to 20!!! I wanted to be like ARE you kidding me...1-2-3!!! Come on the next number is 3!!!! But of course, that was not appropriate.

I guess it was just eye opening to me because I just assume everyone knows simple things like the alphabet, numbers and writing their names. Guess you gotta start somewhere, and kindergarten seems like it would be just the right place to do so. Moving along, there were 2 girls who did not speak english and wanted help. That was difficult! Good thing I knew my numbers in Spanish! Soon I just gave up trying English, and started being like uno, dos, ????Tres! si! haha Thank goodness for Spanish 2 in high school!!!!

So Jason and Sebastion were a hand full and a half! They were crazy!!!! But other then that the kids were pretty good. I had some very odd names, like Deshawn, Eglebuo, Nercey, Eber, and that's all I can think of at the moment. Recess was interesting! First of all the play area is pebbles!!! How dangerous is that?!?! I had 2 injuries in the 10 minutes we were out there! What happened to good old fashioned sand or wood chips?! Pebbles! OUCH! I had to empty my shoes after recess because I had so many rocks in them!

So the first injury was the saddest and closest to my heart. Poor shy Kevin somehow fell head/chest first off of the high monkey bars, I didn't even see it but someone came and told me. The poor kid had the wind knocked out of him, but I'll give him major props, he was tough! He didn't cry, he just looked really pitiful, hurt and sad. I was like oh my heck! He had rock dust all over his face, his hand was bleeding, and he was in a lot of pain!

I didn't know exactly what to do at that moment because I was the only teacher on recess duty so I couldn't just leave the 40 kids to wreak havoc while mending Kevin, so I just had him come sit with me the rest of recess. He was so quiet! Then when we went inside I cleaned and bandaged up the wound. It's funny because with most kids you just give them a hug and a band aid and they are good to go in like 10 minutes, but poor Kevin...all day he just sat with his head on his desk, in pain. :( It was so sad!

The second injury was this girl from the other class comes over hysterically crying and bleeding!!! Some other kid had to tell me what happened because she was so hysterical she could not speak! I still don't really know what happened, but I just sent her to her teacher's classroom, to let her deal with it. So yeah, very interesting day to say the least. There were some strange kids at that school.

Right after that I had to immediately rush to the LH. I told Patti that I could be there at 12 and the lunch was being served at 12, so it was really pointless and I had to leave at 2, but she really needed me, so I did it. It was a sweet lunch. So I got there, helped clear salads, and did dinners, then went on break! The coolest part of the lunch was that I got to server Elder Bednar!!! It was simply amazing. The way he looks and sounds on TV for conference is exactly who he is! It was so cool!!!

After 2:00 rolled around, I rushed over to the big JE...Jackson Elementary to head up my after school program. OH my heck, the kids were wild and crazy today! I made the HUGE mistake of bringing play dough! BAD idea! Within 15 minutes the floor was covered in pink, green, and purple specks, and the kids were using balls of dough as projectiles to inflict pain upon each other. Edwardo had about 10 time outs!!! He was horrible today!!!

So after yelling and screaming at them to not play, but clean up, someone informs me that Roberto is crying. (that kid gets hurt more than anyone I know!!!! He is tough though! He cries for like 5 minutes, then gets back out there and plays again) Apparently Vincent decided it would be a brilliant idea to shove dried play dough in Roberto's eye! Yeah...he was wrong! It caused this HUGE purple bruise on Roberto's eye lid. Then Vincent had the audacity to call Roberto a baby for crying! I just lost it! I was like Vincent come here right now! Look at Roberto's eye! It's purple because of what you did! He is not a baby! You hurt him!!! And then Vincent realized what he did, and apologized, but oh my heck! KIDS!!!

Then the nice day went to pot and it started snowing and made me sad inside!! BUT then after Kelijean and I jammed to my current fav. song (check blog title ;)on the way home from work, I ate great left overs from Typhoon, and then went to see 21 with Rob and Erika. It was so intense and good! SEE IT! WELL! That is all of the excitement that has happened to me in the past 2 days! I am sorry it was sooo long!!! :)

And in the mornin' I'll make ya waffles!!!

Waffles are most definitely among the small joys in my life! I LOVE making waffles, something about separating the yolk, and whipping the whites just amazes me and I love it! I got a waffle maker for Christmas, and since then I have made waffles quite frequently! My waffle party was an amazing success!

This morning I had a house full of people and I was like you know what? I am going to whip up some waffles! YUMM!! So we ate waffles for breakfast and it was delicious! I think my love of waffles started in high school when Elyse and I would go home every Sunday after church and make waffles! AHH! Those were the days!

*Insert catchy title here>>>

I love blogging! I love having an outlet for all of my bottled up emotions. Usually I am really good about telling people how I feel, and what's bothering me, but sometimes when people get tired of hearing my stories over and over then I can still blog about it! Then I can always go back and read it and re-read it. It is so great!!!

For me the greatest part of writing a blog is to come up with a title! :) I love thinking of titles, I swear I will be driving down the freeway and something will just hit me! At the next light I quickly record it in my phone under a nifty little category I like to call blogs. :) So great! I LOVE blogs! I love reading blogs, writing blogs, and thinking of blogs!

Soundtrack of my life

DD told me the most amazing thing today! My earrings were jingling (wow! that is an amazing word!) while I walked and I said something about how I loved the sound, and she said whenever she wears dangly earrings and heels she says it's the soundtrack of her life. I totally love that! It is so amazing! If you can't picture it yourself it's like click click, jingle jingle. :) It's so girly! I love it! The sound I hear all day and it puts a smile to my face! Thanks DD! I love you!

Liberty is heavy-kuku cachu

Have you ever drifted apart from a friend? It sucks, but usually you don't realize it happening because you both get too busy or change and don't want to hang around each other anymore. Well that's not what this blog is about. This blog is about loosing someone near and dear to you because they get a significant other. As many of you may know Rob is one of my best friends! I love the kid to death. We talk about EVERYTHING! I have told him things no one else knows about me, and he has shared things with me that no one else on earth knows. We used to hang out all the time, and talk every day. Ever since he started dating Erika we haven't hung out alone or done anything fun. I mean yes we've hung out just the two of us, but it seems that whenever we hang out it's A. because Erika is working and B. because he doesn't want to do something by himself so he calls me. It really feels like I am just his back up. It sounds bad, and he knows it, but I really am. He'll call me if he needs something, or if Erika's working, and of course he truly cares about me and I know he loves me, but he loves me second to Erika. Which is also fine, I mean she's his girl friend, but it just sucks to see a valued friendship slipping away and there is nothing you can do to fix it.

Rob is probably the most interesting person I've met in SLC. He has been there for me through all of my hard times. He is like the older brother I've never had. I love the adventure that he exuberates. We've gone on some amazing trips, seen some amazing things, done some amazing things, been there and back. It's sad that it seems it is all ending. I really don't get how people can't multi task friends! UGH!

I have always had a best friend. My whole life, but because I've had a best friend I don't do EVERYTHING with that one person. I've also always had a lot of friends. I don't like to spend all of my time with one person. Maybe it's just me, but I get sick of people quickly. I like to spread my time amongst my friends. They are all great and I love them. It just makes me sad that other people can't spread their time out like that. It really just annoys me!!! I love Rob, and I love Erika, I love that they are a couple, but I don't understand, or like that they don't have time for me anymore. I mean I would even take hanging out with both of them together! But I don't even get that! :( I miss my best friend. :(:(:(:(:(

I love grapefruit, yes I do! I love grapefruit how about you?!!?

Haha so basically I was sitting at the table...the real table (that's right we have a real dining room table now! Just a little tangent about that...when I was sitting there last night I really had the craving to get three friends (because there are only four chairs) and play a good board game. That was my favorite thing to do in high school, and now whenever we play games it's rarely on a table. I just love that it's my favorite! Anyway the table is amazing, but sadly it will be moving in 2 weeks along with Liz and Thomas), and I was trying to eat a grapefruit! Those things are so messy!!! I ate the first half like Saturday or something and I just scooped it with a spoon. This was not working out very well, it seemed that all I got was juice. So this half I peeled it like an orange (thanks to Sarah's idea!). This was also SUPER messy!!! But way more enjoyable! I freaking LOVE ruby red grapefruit! It makes me so happy! I love the taste, scent, texture everything about it! It is my favorite bath and bodyworks scent! AWE! GRAPEFRUIT! How I love thee! :) haha well that's all for now just wanted to give a shout out to the big GF! ;)

Always a bride's maid, never a bride

While watching 27 Dresses for the second time, something depressing fluttered into my mind. Am I doomed to be one of those girls who is always a bride's maid, but never a bride? It seems that is how things are going at the moment. I am great friends with so many people, and they all love and adore me (or want to be me when they grow up. :) THANKS guys!). So many of my good friends are getting married. I am not saying that is what I want right now, but I just want to know that potentially in about 2 1/2 ish years I can have that too!

That is all...just thought I'd share a few thoughts about that.

Don't you ever commit assumiside

Why is it that someone can be a complete jerk, totally un-dateable then they strut up to the piano, play a glorious rendition of a favorite song, and suddenly, but just for the three minutes they are up there playing, they become...somewhat desirable!?! I don't understand! For some reason when I witness something amazing, and amazing talent I get a twinkle in my eye, and a gleam in my heart! He's so...not what I want, and not what I am looking for, and he's leaving in a week! GRR! Oh well since I was never into it I'm suddenly over it!

Also just as a PS I love it when people share their talents with me! Saturday at Jake's when he, Steve and Brandon started playing guitar and singing it totally made my day! Then there's Robby, making it look like he's playing, but he totally didn't!!!! Anyways it was great! Thanks guys!

Beneath the rumble of the upstairs tenants

There comes a time in every girl's life when a pros and cons list is just essential! Right now I am in dire need of one! Here is the situation...I am graduating from the business college...now what you may ask? Well cosmetology I would hastily reply! But in order to make my dream a reality it takes planning applying, getting in and then what? Moving, commuting? That is where the list comes in! I am pretty sure I need to move to Kaysville, but I just love SLC so gosh darn much!!! So here goes my lists!!!!

PROS-
*A few good friends are moving away anyways
*I have at least one roommate already
*Fresh start
*Chance to meet new people
*NEW WARD with hopefully younger people
*Get out of the routine I'm in/mix things up a bit
*Won't be stuck in one place my whole life, move on with life
*Won't have to commute

CONS-
*Moving once again
*this entails packing up all of my ish AGAIN and prancing up north to start over
*Leaving dear friends
*Leaving jobs I love
*I don't know how well the new roommate will work out
*Farther away from LH parties :(
*Not knowing many people to begin with

That is all I can think of for now. Man does that feel good! I might add more later if I think of more things. Bottom line-I just need to get my lazy butt in gear and apply and figure out the time line of when I need to move.

My life has become a boring pop song and everybody's singing along

First of all it pains my soul that I have not written in so long! Every day I think I should blog today! But it becomes such a hassle with my POC (piece of crap) computer! I don't want to get interrupted in a great blogging therapy session with a frozen computer! I have been stressed beyond all belief because the semester is coming to a close and I have become a master procrastinator. Luckily all of my presentations which I BS'ed last minute went flawlessly! If only my grade was based solely on that! But no then there are the inevitable tests! Hard to BS your way through that. Either you know the information or you don't. In this situation unfortunately I don't really know a whole lot.My education at the BC has been good for one thing. A nice shiny paper with my name on it that I will hopefully get in a week! I started out wanting to learn and do good, but as the days, weeks, months, and years progressed I just wanted to get the heck out of school! I suppose you can say that is why I started procrastinating so much, and really hating school.

I've never been one who loved going to school, being at school, or even learning new things, but I always did it to help me get to college. Well now I'm here and I'm seeing what a big fat waste of time it has been. I want to work at a salon. I really don't need a degree behind me. The fact that I will have one amazes me and I am so happy that I accomplished my goal.
My mom never graduated college and my dad never even went, so I guess I always had to feel like I had to prove myself and show that I am better than my parents were. With my associates in business I will also receive a sales and accounting certificate. That's pretty darn sweet if you ask me! All in all I'm glad I did endure these two years of the Business College, I can say I came, I saw, I conquered, and even got the tee-shirt to prove it. (Literally! hehe)

I just took my first of 5 tests....hope I did ok! It was super hard! For only 24 freaking questions you think it would have been easier! Tomorrow is another day filled with working two jobs, then two tests. I really need to study, but honestly I just want to sleep! I am so freaking physically exhausted. I should not have taken that substituting job at 7 AM! It has ruined my whole week. I have been exhausted since I got up that morning at 6!
Gosh darn money! Gosh darn work! Gosh darn school! Sometimes I just hate life! I mean it's always one thing after another! I hadn't spent money on myself since before Christmas break, so when I got my tax return and got paid all in the same weekend I felt pretty rich! So what did I do? Go on a major shopping spree of course! And then what happened? My car decided to start smoking.

So I had to pay $150 (luckily thanks to Rob's Mexican hook ups it was only that much!) to fix it, then no sooner then that was fixed the teeny, tiny, microscopic, pebble-size chip in my windshield from over a year ago decided to turn into a full blown crack across the driver's side of my windshield! Thomas keeps bugging me to just buy a new car, and I am getting more and more tempted! I mean I LOVE my car! I love how small it is, I love the sunroof, I love the CD player, I bought it with my own money, it totally has OR pride. I just don't want to move on I guess. The sad thing is that there is a huge rust spot on the hood and now crack in the windshield telling me to just let go and move on to bigger and better things!!!!And the whole car repair situation sucked! I majorly went into depression for almost 2 days while I didn't have a car. You really don't realize your limits until you are bound. I mean choosing not to drive is one thing, but not being able to drive when you want to is another thing completely! It was sooo freaking frustrating! I had so much I wanted to do! Go to they gym, buy school supplies, visit people, but without a car I could not do any of it! UGH UGH UGH is all I felt!

To top off my limits being tested in every direction, the kids at the elementary are little monsters! Seriously! They are out of control, and constantly slap, cuss, threaten, intimidate, and wreak havoc on each other! It disgusts me! And I don't know what to do anymore! I just want to throw the towel in and quit, but that is not what these kids need. They need a fighter, someone that no many times they hear the spiteful words "I hate you!" will keep coming back every day stronger, and ready to keep on truckin'. As much as I hate to be that person I feel that I have to be.
To sum up this little venting/pitty party blog I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I know that all the trials I go through are going to end up teaching me something I could not have learned any other way. (I just wish it wasn't so hard sometimes!) If you think about it happiness is all about expectations. When we don't get what we want we are unhappy! Well I think that is completely ridiculous! What are we spoiled 6 year olds?

When things don't work out the way we expect we have two choices, roll with the punches, or create a different solution to solve the problem and try again. I intend to make things happen in my life. I will graduate, then fulfill my dreams of cosmetology! I need to stop procrastinating and get my life in order

While couples in love in the HOV fly by

I grew up in a world where when things broke, you fixed them, if something's dirty you clean it, if something's full you empty it. I just don't understand why that is such a hard concept to grasp. It makes perfect sense to me. Lately my house has been a major pig sty, not because of me mind you, because my roommates suddenly forgot how to clean up after themselves. I don't mind taking turns doing the tidying, but if I am the only one cleaning, doing dishes, and fixing things, I get a little...well irritated.

Relationships are supposed to be 50/50, give/take. In this particular situation I am giving 100% and and receiving NOTHING in return. I do all of their dishes, the courteous thing would be for them to do my dishes at least once right? As if to say thanks Jess! I cleaned out the refrigerator last night...that was an adventure! There was expired things from '06 in there! EW!!! I threw away a WHOLE garbage bag of grossness. All the while Liz and Thomas watched TV.

The most rewarding thing was when Kyle came home and was like wow! Jess did you clean out the refrigerator??! I was like ya! Thanks for noticing. This is just another thing that gets annoying. If something you buy goes bad...throw it out!!! Don't just leave it in there rotting! EW! I really wonder how these girls will do in homes of their own. I (their apparent maid) won't be there to clean up their messes anymore.

Current annoyances.....
1. DISHES!!!! We made this "Do your own" rule and it seems that the only one following it is me! I try to teach them a lesson and not do their dishes, but then once it gets incredibly bad I just can't stand it anymore and do them all. It is just so irritating!!! Then it's worse on me because I have to do dishes for over an hour! And then they don't even put them away the next day! It's not hard at all to do your dishes. Every single glass in our cupboard was dirty before I did them just now. That is a little out of control!
2. Garbage. When it gets full take it out. Don't pile more trash, be responsible and take it out! Who do you think takes out the garbage? Keli? Liz? How about Thomas or Kyle? Nope! Jessica...EVERY SINGLE TIME! It is so annoying! They just let things get SOOO bad! Do something, be proactive! If you have time to sit there and make out on the lovesac, you have time to take out the trash!
3. Leaving things on when they leave. If you aren't using a light, turn it off. If you leave the house turn everything off. I really don't want an extreme bill, so why don't they just do us all a favor and turn out lights and turn off the thermostat. Whenever I leave a room I turn off the light. Time after time I'll come home to every light on, the heater on full blast, and not a soul at home. Or better yet they will be in their rooms with all the lights on and the TV. Gosh darn kids! Didn't your mothers teach you???
4. Blasting the heat. First of all it is not a good idea to turn the heat on full blast...I would never go past 80 degrees! Turning it all the way up will not make you warmer faster! Set the thermostat and leave it alone. Liz for some reason likes to be roasting hot and always cranks up the heat. Then I am sweating up a storm because of it. At least we could have some common ground and meet somewhere in the middle. Plus you are wasting electricity, or however heat is made!
5. Suddenly gaining 2 new roommates. I love Kyle and Thomas, but seriously if you are going to practically live here too clean the freak up after yourselves! The reason our house is so messy is because we suddenly have 2 boys over constantly. If they come over, and make a mess Liz and Keli are responsible for cleaning up after them, not me! Who in the world ever said I was mom, and that I would clean up, but for some reason that is exactly what is happening!
6. People stealing my stuff. Towels namely. I go to take a shower and the towel I swear I put there is gone. What the heck?!?! I am like scared to hang my towels up! Who does that? And if I buy things, they are for me, don't use my stuff or eat my food unless you ask me. I am not a rich little girl here, I have very limited funds and am living on a strict budget and it sucks! I don't want to be buying more because you ate mine!
7. General lack of uncleanliness. When the house gets dirty clean. Pull out the vacuum, dust the TV off, clean up your shoes and clothes, really. Instead I'll give you one guess at what happens? House gets dirty, Jessica cleans and organizes. The laundry room was a disaster area, Keli takes it over with her smelly, dirty clothes, there are constantly clothes on top of the dryer, you have to maneuver the dial through her clothes! Its ridiculous! One day I cleaned the whole room. It sparkled! I even moped, guess what, it's dirty again consumed with Keli's clothes everywhere! UGH!
8. Cables and cords all over the house. I understand that Liz works at home, and needs it, but she has been so inconsiderate about the internet and all of the cords. I mean I live here too, I pay for the internet too! Show some love, or at least clean up your mess. It's consuming our house!

I think all of these annoyances are arising because it has been too good living with Liz and Keli. Now all of a sudden I can't wait for them to move out. Then I can once again have 2 roommates-not 4.

And in closing, don't get my wrong! I love them all and I love living with them, it's just becoming unbearable and annoying lately!

19 years in my rearview

Mantra of the day: Always forgive, never forget. Why is this you ask? Well because it is a very good way to live your life. I believe in forgiving no doubt about it. It is a commandment, if you don't forgive you will never be forgiven. Forgiveness is one of the biggest things in this world. It is the stuff grudges are made of. As some of you may know holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. It just hurts you.

Ergo, if you don't forgive you are only hurting yourself. The other person will move on with life, and things will continue to progress while the whole nasty experience will eat your insides out! So forgive! On that same token NEVER forget! This is where the second part of my mantra comes in. If you remember the experience you will definitely learn and grow.

The reasons we have trials in this life is for our learning and grown of course. Take the learning and growing part out of the so carefully planned out equation and what is the point? Now don't interpret not forgetting as grudging how you have been wronged. When you have a grudge it is brought on by and unforgiving heart. If you simply forgive, yet remember all that has come of the experience you grow and protect yourself from being hurt again, and learn the lesson you were supposed to. Don't be a pushover! Another simple life lesson is to give three chances. Three strikes and you're out as the old adage goes. It is so true. In the kindergarten I give them three chances before a time out, three time out's before a pink slip, and three pink slips before expulsion. They have plenty of time and plenty of chances to learn, grow, see the error of their ways, and repent in a sense. If they choose not to it is them not I who will be hurt in the end. The same thing goes for every day life.

I give people three chances. I have no problem freely forgiving, but if it happens again and again, why should I keep letting you get away with it? Why should I keep letting you hurt me? I just don't understand why people put themselves in positions like this. It is up to you. You run your life, you control your life, the ball is in your court! Don't let people walk all over you, you are your own person and can make your own decisions. Decide right now to stand up for yourself and what you believe in. You are obviously not learning your lesson if you keep hurting me, I on the other hand am! You are not to be trusted!

Trust is a precious thing to me. It is how I rate a person. If I can trust you, you become the elect in my eyes. If I can't trust you you are a waste of my time. I hate liers, cheaters, and any other form of deception. I also can't stand people who break my trust. Everyone makes mistakes and I understand that, but I believe that a mistake is not repeated more than twice. If you keep making the same "mistake" it is no longer a mistake.

JUDGEMENTAL?!?!?!?!?

Have you ever critiqued someone's outfit before? Strictly as an example you and your friend are waiting on a park bench and you are bored. There are tons of people constantly walking past you. What do you do? Well critique their outfits of course! Not loud enough so they can hear mind you just quietly amongst yourselves.

"Ew those are sick shoes"
"Oh my gosh, her hair is so weird"
"Those earing are 3 times as big as that girl's ear!"
"That DOES not match!"
Things of this nature.

Is that bad? Is that judgmental? I really don't think it's bad. Sometimes I just wonder if I am too judgmental. Recently someone pretty close to me told me I was judgmental when I said about her outfit. I don't even remember what the comment was, but it's not like it was rude, or tasteless, just something like woah that's a weird belt or something to the effect. Ever since then her comment has been eating me. Am I judgmental? If so is it a bad thing?

I pride myself on matching and putting great outfits together. I know what I like, and I know what is pleasing to the eye. Shouldn't I share this knowledge with those around me? For the common good of the general public perhaps? Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps....

HUMMM..... Well I guess morale of the story...don't wear ugly things and you won't get critiqued! lol

Whisper words of wisdom-let it be!

Why is it impossible for people to be on time?
Why do I have to plan things and tell people to be there at least 45 minutes until they actually need to be? It is just so annoying!

It really isn't that hard to schedule your time so that you aren't late. I mean sure everyone has their late days. Sometimes your alarm doesn't go off, or your roommate is in the shower so it pushes everything off schedule a bit. Sure. It happens.

Somehow if you haven't ever planned an event you have no idea how important being on time is and also letting the host know you are coming which is the second thing I wish do discuss. It is so irritating when people don't tell you if they are coming. Imagine this...there is a huge party...there is food, but you don't know how many people are coming, how do you know how much food to buy??? It's so frustrating!!! Do I buy 20 or 40? or 50? UGH!!! Just tell me if you are coming so I can plan! Then be on time so I don't have to tell you to be there at 5 when I really don't want you there till 6. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well that is about all...It just frustrates me that people cannot be honorable and courteous.

Circles never end

"Let's raise the bar and see how well you do then."
He replied, "Then I might miss."
I queried, "If you don't raise the bar, how will you ever know your potential?"

I was reading a talk by Elder Perry from the October 2007 General Conference called Raising the Bar. It is so good and it truly inspired me! Sometimes I feel like I'm doing ok, I'm living my life the way I know I should, but I really don't feel like I'm challenging myself. I am doing what I should, but not excelling in any particular area. I am sick of just being content with what I am accomplishing, I want to raise the bar, and try harder.

I don't want to just clear the minimum standard, I want to exceed far above that. We can't expect the standards to be lowered to suit us, we have to do our part and put in the much needed effort to not only clear the bar, but soar high above it. I think I am at the point in my life where I have definitely cleared the minimum standards.

Elder Perry suggests to raise the bar. That is exactly what I need to do. Try harder, put in more effort, take longer to do the things I know I should, and even more. Go beyond what is expected of me. Elder Perry suggests that if we don't keep raising the bar how will we ever know our potential? He says that standards do exist, and we can't stop when we reach those standards, we must keep raising the bar. The higher we go, the stronger we will become.

I live in the mecca of Mormonism. Salt Lake City, Utah! There is a temple essentially down the street, there are plenty of uplifting and fun activities to be doing, but instead it seems like all I do is work and school! I always make goals to go to the temple, but it falls through. The best was over the summer when Jalene and I went once a week for about a month! It was amazing! I hope to follow through on goals like that again soon. Maybe once a month will be a good start. I am a busy little bee, and although it sucks it is necessary at this point.

Got to be good looking cause it's so hard to see

Age is a question of mind over matter, if you don't mind, it don't matter.

Is there truth in that statement? I always told myself that I would NEVER date anyone more than 10 years older or younger then me. Recently I have been thinking a lot about age. Does it matter? Who is to decide? Me? You? My mom? I just don't know. I think it just depends on the people.

I don't know if I would ever feel comfortable with someone that was that much older then me, but what if I met someone that was perfect just a little older? Well I think I'll stick to my guns and just try to date people who are around my age. But as for everyone else...I will try to be a lot less judgmental about it.

Let me take you down cause I'm going too

Oh my gosh! I hate Walmart! If it wasn't so close to my house I would never go again!!! So I shop for 10 minutes, then stand in line for 50! That is incredibly ridiculous! There are 35 check stands and how many are open? oh 7! and 4 of them are quick checks! It is so infuriating! Sometimes I just want to A. steal all of my stuff just go get out of there, or B. get behind the counter and check myself out! It is just so annoying!

After I wait in line for so long I feel like I deserve some sort of reward or something. The reeces fast breaks are starting to look amazing, and the drinks in the refrigerator are looking amazing. But I don't have money to be buying crap like that! UGH!!! I just don't understand! HIRE MORE PEOPLE and make my life a bit easier! Well that's about all I was just frustrated!

Why do we always have to fix things we did not create nor contrive?

I think that Wilson on Home Improvement is the most intriguing character! I mean think about it...we only see half his face, but still love him. He is kind of like the phantom of the show. We hear countless words of wisdom, but do we really know him? Can you really know someone without seeing who they truly are? Perhaps we just love him because of the example he shows to Tim and Jill.
Today in Relief Society we talked about being an example. I really loved the lesson it is so true. The people around us learn from our examples better then by our words. I think this is especially true to me. Growing up my mom always told us "now say your prayers, read your scriptures, eat your veggies, drink lots of water ect." But it really didn't mean a whole lot to me unless I saw her doing these things as well. I think nothing hit me more then going to ask my mom a question and finding her on her knees in her bedroom in solemn prayer. Those are the times that I look back and am so grateful for her shining example.

I may not have noticed it at the time, but I think it somehow sunk into my subconscious growing up and has made me want to be a better person. If my mom did the things she was supposed to behind closed doors and when no one was looking maybe there was more to it then I thought, and maybe the lifestyle was one I should emulate.

I have this friend who for the life of him will never do anything anyone asks him to. He is so set on being his own person that he waits until he feels like doing something himself. (even if he really does want to do it.) It is so annoying because in order to get him to do anything you want him to you have to play these stupid little mind games and totally twist everything around so he thinks you don't want him to. Then finally he will. It takes so much effort that pretty soon you seriously JUST DON'T CARE anymore. You just want him to get on with it and get on with your own life and your own day!Anyways this all ties into my point. I am so glad that I am the kind of person who just gets things done. I tend to roll with the punches and not analyze things to the ground. I just make decisions as they come. Another thing that bugs me is that when people freak out about why things don't go the way they planned and feel like their whole life is ruined. Seriously don't just sit around feeling sorry for yourself! Make something happen. For every problem there is a solution. Finding it is the hard part. Once you see it you can always see it. Finding it is always the hard part.

This is one reason I am so grateful for my friends! They help me through so many of my problems. Sometimes we are too wrapped up in the drama to find a reasonable solution, but talking about our problems allows for people who may have been in that situation to intervene and give advice, or suggest ways of thinking that we never would have seen. I want to be the kind of example that people will want to follow.

Cynthia wrote this and I am posting it! I love it! Could not have said it better myself!

There are a lot of flakes in the world right? Potato, onion, garlic, and snow. I don't mind any of these. I mind the people flakes. You know, flakey people? Let me give you an example. Jill says she will go to the movies with me Friday night. She tells me she can't wait and is defiantly going. Here comes Friday night. Jill calls and says "sorry I can't go" or she just doesn't show up at all (or better yet Jill doesn't even try to contact me and then I text her wondering where she is and then she finally tells me that she isn't coming.) JILL! We had these plans for a long time!! Come on!!

If you make plans with me keep them!! I don't make plans unless I know I can keep them. And if something, like work, comes up I do everything in my power to get it off. If I get really sick I call and explain. I hate letting people down and always do everything I can to keep my word. Why can't everyone else do the same? It really irritates me.

I had party a few days ago. A lot of people said they would come. NO ONE CAME!! What a letdown. We went dancing the other night. SO many people didn't show up that said they would come. Why would you say that?!?!? Why couldn't you at least have the courtesy to call and let someone know you couldn't make it?

Or those people who say they will go if nothing else comes up. What?!?! If nothing else comes up? So you won't make plans with me because you might make plans with someone else? How lame can you be?

So the point is, if you make plans, keep them. Thanks you.