First of all it pains my soul that I have not written in so long! Every day I think I should blog today! But it becomes such a hassle with my POC (piece of crap) computer! I don't want to get interrupted in a great blogging therapy session with a frozen computer! I have been stressed beyond all belief because the semester is coming to a close and I have become a master procrastinator. Luckily all of my presentations which I BS'ed last minute went flawlessly! If only my grade was based solely on that! But no then there are the inevitable tests! Hard to BS your way through that. Either you know the information or you don't. In this situation unfortunately I don't really know a whole lot.
My education at the BC has been good for one thing. A nice shiny paper with my name on it that I will hopefully get in a week! I started out wanting to learn and do good, but as the days, weeks, months, and years progressed I just wanted to get the heck out of school! I suppose you can say that is why I started procrastinating so much, and really hating school.I've never been one who loved going to school, being at school, or even learning new things, but I always did it to help me get to college. Well now I'm here and I'm seeing what a big fat waste of time it has been. I want to work at a salon. I really don't need a degree behind me. The fact that I will have one amazes me and I am so happy that I accomplished my goal.
My mom never graduated college and my dad never even went, so I guess I always had to feel like I had to prove myself and show that I am better than my parents were. With my associates in business I will also receive a sales and accounting certificate. That's pretty darn sweet if you ask me! All in all I'm glad I did endure these two years of the Business College, I can say I came, I saw, I conquered, and even got the tee-shirt to prove it. (Literally! hehe)I just took my first of 5 tests....hope I did ok! It was super hard! For only 24 freaking questions you think it would have been easier! Tomorrow is another day filled with working two jobs, then two tests. I really need to study, but honestly I just want to sleep! I am so freaking physically exhausted. I should not have taken that substituting job at 7 AM! It has ruined my whole week. I have been exhausted since I got up that morning at 6!
Gosh darn money! Gosh darn work! Gosh darn school! Sometimes I just hate life! I mean it's always one thing after another! I hadn't spent money on myself since before Christmas break, so when I got my tax return and got paid all in the same weekend I felt pretty rich! So what did I do? Go on a major shopping spree of course! And then what happened? My car decided to start smoking.So I had to pay $150 (luckily thanks to Rob's Mexican hook ups it was only that much!) to fix it, then no sooner then that was fixed the teeny, tiny, microscopic, pebble-size chip in my windshield from over a year ago decided to turn into a full blown crack across the driver's side of my windshield! Thomas keeps bugging me to just buy a new car, and I am getting more and more tempted! I mean I LOVE my car! I love how small it is, I love the sunroof, I love the CD player, I bought it with my own money, it totally has OR pride. I just don't want to move on I guess. The sad thing is that there is a huge rust spot on the hood and now crack in the windshield telling me to just let go and move on to bigger and better things!!!!
And the whole car repair situation sucked! I majorly went into depression for almost 2 days while I didn't have a car. You really don't realize your limits until you are bound. I mean choosing not to drive is one thing, but not being able to drive when you want to is another thing completely! It was sooo freaking frustrating! I had so much I wanted to do! Go to they gym, buy school supplies, visit people, but without a car I could not do any of it! UGH UGH UGH is all I felt!To top off my limits being tested in every direction, the kids at the elementary are little monsters! Seriously! They are out of control, and constantly slap, cuss, threaten, intimidate, and wreak havoc on each other! It disgusts me! And I don't know what to do anymore! I just want to throw the towel in and quit, but that is not what these kids need. They need a fighter, someone that no many times they hear the spiteful words "I hate you!" will keep coming back every day stronger, and ready to keep on truckin'. As much as I hate to be that person I feel that I have to be.
To sum up this little venting/pitty party blog I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I know that all the trials I go through are going to end up teaching me something I could not have learned any other way. (I just wish it wasn't so hard sometimes!) If you think about it happiness is all about expectations. When we don't get what we want we are unhappy! Well I think that is completely ridiculous! What are we spoiled 6 year olds?When things don't work out the way we expect we have two choices, roll with the punches, or create a different solution to solve the problem and try again. I intend to make things happen in my life. I will graduate, then fulfill my dreams of cosmetology! I need to stop procrastinating and get my life in order
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