Quote by President Monson

"We taste the sweet yet sample the bitter. This is mortality."
Just something for you to chew on. I liked it!

High on life

Picture this, you see a cute boy! Don't look now but I think he is staring at you!!! Oh wait, just kidding, he was totally checking out the GUY behind you...Yeah...the guy. What is the world coming to now that you have to not only be cuter then all of the other girls, but all the other boys too! Is it really true that all the good ones are either taken or gay...or both?

Life is just so discouraging sometimes.

Brains and Brawn

Have you ever noticed how many pretty girls there are in the world? Open a magazine, turn on the tv, look out your door! They are everywhere!!! But then go to find a hot boy...are you looking??? Look harder!!! Yeah...that's what I thought....there just aren't that many!!! It is so weird. I mean sure there are a few. A hand full if you will. But in comparison to girls, boys are just so unattractive! How unfair is that?? So let me get this straight...we bear children, and settle in our husband's looks. Where is the justice in the world?!?!

One of my teachers Brother Finlinson always says that every boy marries above his station, but every girl marries below hers. That is sooo true!!! why do we get the shaft??? I don't understand!? Maybe it is because boys are just more shallow than girls. The thrive off of looks, and girls on the other hand see the beauty inside. But then again maybe we are forced to see the beauty inside because there isn't much to lok at on the outside... Sorry for my blatancy, but it is sooo true, and so aggravating! I want a hot boy, but instead I am probably going to have to settle for mediocre looks and brains.

Silver linings

Yesterday Keli and I were talking about how confusing our feelings are (something you would never guess coming from a girl eh? ;)). How one minute we are 100% sure, then the next we somehow talk ourselves out of it, and think that there must be another solution; we could not have been right. This process in turn repeats itself over and over until we are utterly confused.

Of course this little blerp ties into my life. So there was this guy...I don't know why I liked him, but somehow I did. It drove me for months! I kept confusing myself about him. I like him. No I just like that he likes me. No I like him. Does he like me? Do I like him? Ect. I prayed about the situation a few months ago, and received personal confirmation about the guy. It was not meant to be. Liking him was fruitless.

Suddenly I stopped liking him (with the help of the spirit I am sure!). But the thing was we are friends and still hang out. Of course being the girl that I am a month later I was once again in that stupid spot of confusing myself! So finally I took some much needed advice to find out if he liked me too. Turns out he didn't, therefore I don't like him. (weird how that works eh?)

I could have saved soooo much time and energy if I would have just gone with the answer that I received in the first place! Being a girl really is so complicated!!! I just don't get it sometimes! No wonder we confuse guys so much!!! We confuse ourselves!!! (EW! Elton John is gay??? I am watching Top Celebrity weddings, and his is on it! EWWW!!! 1.5 million dollar wedding!) Anyways, I am so happy that this is all behind me...again...hopefully for good this time!!!! :) On to the next!

Hat's off to empowering slogans!

I want to commend Secret for having an amazing slogan. Their new slogan is "secret, because you're hot!" Does that now empower you? Doesn't it make you want to be hot just to be good enough to wear it?!?! I love the feeling they are giving women. This country is all about having a positive self esteem and things like this will totally help. Little by little we are showing women how truly amazing they are. I love it and I am so happy that Secret had the courage to invoke such a vibrant slogan! :) Thanks Secret!!!

Tribute to a prophet of God

By now news of President Hinkley's death has probably reached you. (PS when I die, I hope texts spread like wild fire the way they were sent when he died!) President Hinkley was the only prophet I really knew and loved in a personal sort of way. I respect and love all the past prophets, but there is something different about hearing from a prophet more than twice a year for 13 years. :) You grow to love them! I loved President Hinkley and although I am sad at his passing I am so over joyed for him, to finally be reunited with the love of his life! His best friend! He was such a role model, and will continue to be even now. Can you imagine the greeting he is getting in heaven right now? He probably has the Lord on his right hand and his love on his left. The drive and stanama he had was truly amazing! I will miss that. He erected temples world wide, he wrote books, and he attended meetings weekly. He was truly and amazing person. Here are some pictures that I just loved of his life.

By the light of the copper moon

Have you ever noticed how when someone tells a "joke" it usually entails at least a slight bit of truth? Like when you say "man I sure wish you weren't late all the time....hahaha JK!" You are really annoyed and aggravated that they are late and trying to shoot them a subtle hint without being rude. I just think it's funny that society totally accepts it, and we all laugh. I don't know if sometimes we don't get it or we secretly do get it but we don't want to point out how rude it is. Lol

I am sooo guilty of using this form or reverse psychology. I like it because you can say something constructive and hope the person gets the hint, and then you don't have to point it out in a rude way. That is about it...sorry this is such a short blog! haha I was just thinking about that today!

Today was a day just like any other

If you are like me the arts have a profound impact on your daily life. When I watch a movie, see a play, hear a song, ect. something touches me, hits me in a new light, or shows me something that I never would have realized on my own. I love the feeling of realizing something new. Something so obvious and blatant that you seriously cannot believe that you missed it in the first place.

I watched the movie Enchanted today for the second time, and I am absolutely IN LOVE with that movie! It addresses the topic of love in a way that really tugged on my tight heart strings. First of all I am a total fairy tale girl. I love romantic fantasy and the thought of finding my prince charming makes me go weak at the knees. I want the true, movie, fairy tale romance. :)

I loved the way the movie touched on bits and pieces from all of my favorite fairy tales, and revamped them into a new story. The idea of true love is such an amazing concept to me. At first Giselle is this positive, happy-go-lucky, and essentially naive girl. She literally falls into the arms of her "true love," but soon realizes that TRUE TRUE love hits you when you least expect it.

You can't go looking for love, or all you'll find is an imitation. Something to appease your desires until you are ready to accept the real thing. Sometimes the circumstances may not even allow you to be with that one person, but the movie illustrates the point that if you do your part, and make a leap of faith at the right moment it will all work out and you will finally get your happily ever after. Even if the happy ever after you get isn't the one you imagined since infancy.


Giselle:
How does she know you love her?
How does she know she's yours?

Man:
How does she know that you love her?

Giselle:
How do you show her you love her?

Both:
How does she know that you really, really, truely love her?
How does she know that you love her?
How do you show her you love her?
How does she know that you really, really, truely love her?

Giselle:
It's not enough to take the one you love for granted
You must remind her, or she'll be inclined to say...
"How do I know he loves me?"
(How does she know that you love her?
How do you show her you love her?)
"How do I know he's mine?"
(How does she know that you really, really, truely love her?)

Well does he leave a little note to tell you you are on his mind?
Send you yellow flowers when the sky is grey? Heyy!
He'll find a new way to show you, a little bit everyday
That's how you know, that's how you know!
He's your love...

Man:
You've got to show her you need her
Don't treat her like a mind reader
Each day do something to need her
To believe you love her

Giselle:
Everybody wants to live happily ever after
Everybody wants to know their true love is true...
How do you know he loves you?
(How does she know that you love her?
How do you show her you need her?)
How do you know he's yours?
(How does she know that you really, really, truely-)

Well does he take you out dancin' just so he can hold you close?
Dedicate a song with words in
Just for you? Ohhh!

All:
He'll find his own way to tell you
With the little things he'll do
That's how you know
That's how you know!

Giselle:
He's your love
He's your love...

That's how you know
He loves you
That's how you know
It's true

Because he'll wear your favorite color
Just so he can match your eyes
Rent a private picnic
By the fires glow-oohh!

All:
His heart will be yours forever
Something everyday will show
That's how you know

That's how you know!

Giselle:
He's your love...

Man:
That's how she knows that you love her
That's how you show her you love her

Giselle:
That's how you know...
That's how you know...
He's your love...

A real guitar hero =)

So what about a boy makes him instantly HOT if he plays the guitar??? I just don't get it!!! Just as a simple example, tonight in my music & culture class this mediocre looking boy got up to show off his guitar, and the teacher had him play a few songs. As soon as his fingers brushed the strings he suddenly became...hotter! I don't get it!!! Then if that wasn't enough for his next song he started singing! Oh my! I was in love...well for the 10 minutes that he was singing and playing anyways. ;)

This is just one example. It has happened time and time again! Those darn guitar playing hotties! How do they do it??? Just stick a guitar in a random guy's hand and BAM! Hot! I guess the hopeless romantic part of me just wants to be swept off my feet. I have secretly always wanted someone special to write me a song and sing/play it for me (but what girl hasn't!?!) I just don't understand how seconds before this kid started playing in my class I was texting up a storm, then the moment the sound of the strings resonated in my ears I was mesmerized and could not take my eyes off of him.

One of my friends had the cutest marriage proposal I have ever heard of. (well maybe not the CUTEST, but pretty close!!!) So her now husband took her up on a hill that overlooked the city, they had a picnic, and then he sung her a song, and played his guitar. Omgsh! When she described it to me I almost cried! I think it's the principle of caring for someone so much, and all that a song, and music portrays.

So morale of the story...someone find me a sweet guitar playing hero! :) Thanks!

Tragic death and full moon parties

First of all Heath Ledger died!!! I cannot believe it!!! AH! How could this happen??? Ok well apparently he OD'd on some prescription drugs. Through his death I also found out that he had a daughter. Sad. Hollywood lifestyle I suppose, but is that an excuse for living an erotic life off screen? On screen he was a HOT Australian man who won my heart over and over! I own two movies staring Heath! 10 Things I Hate About You, and A Knight's Tale. I guess in that sense he will live on forever. I just can't believe A. that he is dead, and B. that he was so out of control in real life!!! It is so disappointing!

That was somehow just the beginning of my odd drug/alcohol night...so to speak...

I really am sheltered, and naive to the ways of the world. I live in this little world where I only see good, and associate myself with good. (which is good!) I know there is bad in the world mind you, just not so close to me. It's as if I am in my own little Mormon bubble. Then night's like tonight happen and snap me back to reality! Is it good? Is it bad? I don't really know, but it definitely opens my eyes!

Tonight my gay friend had a house warming/full moon party. :) I was so excited to see him again, I hadn't seen him since like Halloween! So I went! Yay! We got there and everyone but 3 of us were drinking. It was so weird to me. In my little LDSBC/Lion House/Church circle I have not been around alcohol since...well the last time I hung out with him at his house! haha I am so lucky in my life to never have been pressured into trying any form of drugs and alcohol. My friends all know my standards, and what I will and won't do. I WILL NOT drink, smoke, or pop anything anywhere!

One time a few friends and I were hanging out, and they all decided to take shots. The guys of the house proceeded to ask if my friend Jessica and I wanted a shot. I went to say no, but before I could get the two letters out of my mouth, Jessica chimed in "Jessica won't drink anything, so no use even trying to get her to. She doesn't give in to peer pressure." That meant so much to me, Jessica will never know! She not only knew and respected my standards, but made sure everyone else did too! I am so thankful for the great friends I have!

So back to tonight...alcohol was not the only topic of discussion...oh no...Drugs quickly came up. Some responded oh we only smoke when we drink (I was like hey! that's a country song!!!! haha in my head of course!!! "She only smokes when she drinks, she only drinks when she smokes...hehe") Then the question of tobacco or MJ... To that one responded that if anyone wanted any MJ his friend just got back from some state and she had a ton. Drug dealing right before my eyes!!! (I've seen it in action on trax before though!!! Scary stuff!!!)

I really don't know how people do that to themselves. I am not going to lie though I have secretly wanted to try some sort of mixed drink (they look so colorful and fun!) ...you know the experimental, irrational, daring part of my brain...but then the good wholesome part yells at me...ARE YOU CRAZY!!?? And that my friend is always the end of that battle. :)

I have never had any desire for any sort of smoking though! Not even when the cousin I idolized growing up took up smoking cigarettes. After she started doing that I slowly lost respect for her, even though I still loved her, I just did not see her in the same eyes. I have to take this opportunity to thank my parents. I hope that my kids will be as fortunate as I have been to spend a lifetime of being drug free. (after all it's the way to be!)

And with that I am off to bed at this happy hour of 3:00 am...good thing I get to sleep in tomorrow...ehm..today!

Yakity yack! Don't talk back! hehe

So sometimes I really feel like I am not the same level of my outgoing, talkative self all the time. I do have a shy side. When I am out of my element and first meeting someone or a group of people I am more reserved. I don't speak up unless I am asked questions, or directly addressed. On the other hand it is like a whole different ball game when I am with close friends, family, or co-workers. When I know someone really well I am like an open book. Outgoing, fun, and friendly. It is so weird that the same outspoken, friendly girl is also an insecure quiet observer.

Sometimes I really like to just sit and listen. I love to share stories and advice I have learned, but I really love listening to other people's problems, and trying to work through them. I will always be there for a friend to vent to me, but on that same token I will always need someone to vent to...or a few people. :) Thanks if you have ever been that ear, or some day will be!

L-O-V-E

Sometimes I feel when I watch a sappy love movie I sit back and wonder if sometimes I (as they do in the movies) am just throwing around the "L" word. You know the one I am talking about...the L-O-V-E word. But I think that there are degrees of love. It is not a world of black and white...love or not, there are variations or colors to everything. Allow me to elaborate.

Jessica's degrees (levels) of love
1. admiration or mutual respect for another individual
2. honestly caring for another person's needs and desires
3. wanting the best for someone you know and respect
4. wanting to be a better person when you are around a specific person
5. wanting nothing more then to be with a person because the way they make you feel is better than anything you have ever experienced. you become a better, happier person around them, and through them you learn to love yourself.
6. reach for the moon, can't eat, can't sleep world series sort of thing ;)

I have never been in love, so the later levels may not be exactly accurate, but that is what I would imagine it to be like, or how I want them to be. In this sense I feel like I am completely justified in my telling people that I love them. :) If I have ever told you that I love you do not take it trivially. I really do!!! Just know that it is most likely level 2 or 3 love. :) When I use the higher degrees of the "L" word I wonder what it will feel like and who it will be with. *sigh*

Dedication to people with out cars and who are chronically late

SO first of all let me just preface this blog with the fact that I am waiting for Rob right now. I called him right back after I woke up, and he said he'd be here in 20 minutes. Yeah..it's been almost an hour!!! And I have to work at in less than 2 hours! Anyways... I really don't mind giving rides to people. I know what it feels like to need a ride, and beg for a ride. It sucks! But I have my stipulations about the matter.



I hate giving rides to people who...
1. ALWAYS need one
2. Live really out of my way
3. Need a ride last minute (if you need a ride, plan! Let me know!!!)
4.. Have a car, but still make me drive all the time

That being said, I love going places with Sarah! We have this little mutual agreement that we just take turns driving wherever we go. That way one of us is not doing more then the other. Great solution! Also Liz and I do that. It's so nice! That way when I really don't want to drive I don't have to, but when I want to drive I totally can. :) Other then that I really don't mind driving. I love driving! :)

New experiences yield small triumphs

Alright time for a confession...I Jessica Hobbs have a flaw...or rather had a flaw...lol anyways I had a cavity filled today. lol It was an interesting experience. So here's the story...

I went home for Christmas and while I was there I went to the dentist and eye doctors for regular check ups. Not only did I come home with an order for reading glasses, but a week later my dentist called and said I had a cavity! Not only was this a complete shock to me, I could not believe it. After my dentist telling me what great teeth I had and that I was so lucky to have never had a cavity, now...I have one? He also went into this great story about how some people are born with the bacteria that causes cavities and like 2% of the world don't have it. He said I must be among that 2%. I was so pleased. I though that these almost 20 years of brushing and flossing had paid off. I was wrong!

So on that trip I also learned that you are supposed to brush your teeth for 2 minutes each time you brush! This was news to me! It would have been nice to know when I was like...3!!!! But anyways it's useful information.


So I have been dreading this all week, and all last week! I hate pain! Once one of my back teeth grew in without enamel so I had to get it taken out when I was like 12 or 13. That actually went well though. Didn't hurt a bit. But now I had to find a new dentist in a new state, and my mom would not be in the next room. I was quite frankly a bit nervous. My mom said "all new experiences are scary Jess." Yeah...thanks mom...

So I get there, and everyone was really nice. We x-rayed my teeth, and then I read People magazine waiting for the Dr. THEN this lady came with some earphones and a remote control and leaned my chair back...I watched a movie!!! It was amazing! So they proceeded to gas me up, and shoot me up to numb my mouth, and I just sat there and enjoyed my movie. :)

After about 20 minutes of fiddling and drilling around in my mouth PRESTO! I was done!!! Cavity filled, crisis averted, and I am a new women with a new experience. :) And just like that I can now say that (as Erika put it) I am normal. I have flaws :) I can admit that. I now have had a cavity, have glasses...what else...I'm sure there's more, but let's leave it at that for now. I am b-e-a-utiful! I love my life! :) Oh what a day...and my mouth is still numb, but I think I'm going to go to the gym anyways!!!

Infomercials...addiction?

Have you ever been strangely mesmerized by a late night infomercial? You have absolutely no need for the device, but you cannot bring yourself to change the channel! You just sit...watching...waiting for the price so you can tell if you really are going to buy it. $50 for an amazing paper cutting miracle? YES!!! I'll ask for it for my birthday!!! :)
WHAT??? You can make cards, scrapbook, decorate your home and make projects too???? Are you kidding me?
Use any paper you want?
2 free ink cartridges??????
Hum....so what's on my list?
1. Cricket-personal cutting machine
2. Bowflex-home gym
3. Amazing knife sharpener Now Malcum in the Middle? I am mesmerized yet again....perhaps it is the massive pain in my Lower abdominal area preventing me from much needed rest..perhaps it is the fact that it is almost 2 AM...hum...perhaps...

Just one one of those days that a girl goes through..right?

Ever have one of those good for nothing, feel like crap sort of days? Today has been one of them. It started out alright, but then spiraled unavoidably downhill after I got off work. I have major freaking painful cramps!!! I feel like I am dying!!! I need drugs! Well I just took some, but they haven't kicked in yet!!! :( I want them to work right now! Not after 10 minutes of trying to get into the stinking package! Freak! Why do they make it so difficult to get into the stupid pill! I mean the pill is surrounded in some sort of tin foil then covered in paper that is supposed to pulled away...yeah...right!!! More like make my life miserable! As if the day didn't suck already I can't get into my drugs!

So then I was dying on the way to Walmart to buy more drugs and a heat pad thing that Erika recommended and I strategically parked on the side of the store that I needed to be then I go check out and of course all of the check stands that are open are on the OTHER side of the store! And the speedy checks are the ones farthest away...great....so whatever. I get in line..,then the lady was taking forever getting her change...whatever...I'm next.

So I notice that she left a bag. I ask the checker if it was hers. Then he instead of answering me tries to take credit for finding it and was like mam, mam, and she didn't answer, so I walked up to her and was like "is this yours?" and she was really grateful and I felt so good (amidst my excruciating pain!) So... when I grabbed her bag there were like 2 extras attached to it (that is so annoying right?!??!?!) So I just unattached them and stuck them on top of the turny bag thing, and then I pay and get my bag. Well there was a weird shape in my bag...turns out the rude checker had stuck the extra bags in my bag on top of my stuff!!! As if to say..."Um...take care of these!" I was so annoyed! I mean who does that!!!???? SO I stuck them in a nearby cart full Walmart inventory right in front of him as if to say "Up your ziggy with a wah wah brush!" (haha stole that from a movie!)

Then I proceeded to walk the half mile back to my car-clear on the other side and all I could think about was the relief the drugs would bring...thinking about the rude checker and thinking ok it's all over...pulling out these idiots see me backing up and keep walking! I was tempted to just run them down!!! UGH!!! So to top of this bad rotten day I am watching an old 1950's movie called Holiday Affair...I feel like I'm going to die...am I dying??? And apparently these hot pads don't kick in for a half hour! ah!!! ah!!! ah!!! Will this old Black and white remedy my predicament???

ok...apparently it can get worse...I have been trying to watch the stupid movie for 4 hours, and every time I start it someone comes home or starts talking to me! So I have tried to watch it so many times on my On Demand, and it is NOT working! :( So I don't even get my black and white 50's remedy!!! :(

Human frailties

Am I a bad person because this boy at church annoys the crap out of me? Judging by this statement alone you may be persuaded to say answer my rhetorical question with a resounding NO! What if I told you this boy was not only infuriating, but way out of bounds in thinking and reasoning. Everything I say he contradicts (and not in a pleasant way!) Still on my side so far? Well here's the kicker...what if I told you that this infuriating, pig-headed, rude boy was slightly handicapped...then would you think I was a bad person????

Honestly where do we draw the line? Am I suddenly a horrible person for not being able to stand this boy just because he is slow at speech and his hands don't move like mine? I really don't know. I "try to be like Jesus" but this boy is just so annoying to me for some reason, and yet all around me I see people encouraging him, and telling him that he is perfect and not to change. I on the other hand am thinking that a little constructive criticism would do him good!

Seriously it is as if this boy lives in his own little la la land where people tell him he is the best cook, the best musician, the most widely known public speaker, and of course...popular? I am all for being kind and Christ-like, but sometimes do we take it a bit too literal? Ok maybe that didn't come out quite right...Is there a happy medium between constructive criticism, and being totally and loving and forgiving all the time? IF so how do we find this line?

I just find it really weird how I feel so bad for having such mean thoughts about this annoying kid simply because he has a slight handicap. If he were a normal boy without any physical ailments would I feel the same convicting guilt? Most likely not. So why do we excuse actions made by handicapped people whose brains work just as well as ours? I just don't think it's right.

Why, How, When, Where?

Why do I care how you spend your time?
Why do I care who you are with?
Why am I caught thinking about you in the waking moments of dawn?

How do you captivate me so?
How do you catch my gaze?
How do you know just what to say to soothe my troubles away?

When will you tell me that you care?
When will you hold me close?
When will you confirm or reject these feelings which seem so clear?

Where are you right now?
Where is your heart, and thoughts?
Where is the love I so desperately need and the heart I so desperately desire?

Dear God, please cleanse the earth of Emo people...amen!

SO....Elyse and I were totally cruising the myspace super highway tonight at 1 am...cause we are that cool...and something struck us that we feel the world should also know about. What is up with all of the emo blogs? I mean, sure, everyone has an off day or something. I mean, I do. BUT when I do and I feel the need to "blog it out" i mark my emo wrist slitting blog "private" so that others need not suffer through my self-brought on depression...come on people...DO YOU REALLY THINK I want to hear about how "you burnt your toast this morning, ruining your WHOLE day, and when you peered onto your burnt toast you were reminded of how dark and gloomy your soul was, and then you saw a cloud image, as if the toast was giving you further, deeper sight, into this vast universe so that you can better understand how you are SO insignificant..."...you get our drift? SO...to wrap it up... To all you medication induced EMO bloggers...if you feel the need to "blog out your feelings"... MARK IT PRIVATE As much as you'd like to think so, not EVERYONE wants to know about how bad your life sucks...so next time you need to blog...blog about something cheery and lighthearted...try it...it works.

Sarah and other LH friends!

One day last year I got a job at the most amazing place on earth. It is called the Lion House. I have met so many wonderful people! Allow me to name them and tell you a bit about each of them...in chronological order if you don't mind....

1. Morgan-she trained me my first day! I love this girl to death!!! She is such a loving giving person and knows everything there ever was to know about the good old house of Brigham Young that we like to call a second home! She is so much fun! I love talking to her and sharing our ideas, thoughts ect. She is so insightful and loves to have a good time! Oh gosh, when we scared Dallin will go down in history!!! GREAT times!
2. Erin-I remember her teaching me to set and make beverage when I was a newby! I am so grateful to know her! She is sooo fun! My newest and most favorite memory of her is laughing our flipping heads off together a few weeks ago! I seriously had a side ache from laughing so hard..at work mind you! That is my favorite kind of friend to have! :) I love talking to her about problems, especially of the male persuasion because she has tons of experience and advice. Our greetings are always so boisterous and fun! It usually goes like this "ERRRIINNNN!!! AHHH!!! *HUGE HUG*!" haha

3. This is the spot that would Sarah would normally occupy, but since this blog is about her....We shall wait till later!

4. Anna-this lovely lady is my vegan-red-headed-environmentalist friend! I miss her sooo much!!! (she quit and went to BYU, which was quite a shocker to all of us!) She had the most interesting opinions on everything! I remember her uniform had a huge hole in the armpit, and instead of sewing it she just chose simply not to lift her arm! haha she was HILARIOUS! And not afraid to tell people what she thought! I remember her and Linda planning a road trip to see the Smashing Pumpkins!! hehe Also she also had an institute class at the BC =) therefore we were soul sisters! She is one of those earthy, rides her bike everywhere lovable girls! I miss her!!!

5. Ellen-this lovely lady is an orchestra sweetie! She is seriously the most lovable girl in the whole wide world! And..SHE'S IN COLLEGE! lol (she likes to point that out to people!) She is seriously like a little blonde bundle of joy and she warms me heart and soul! I seriously admire this girl so much! (PS! We need to hang out ASAP!) I love working with her because whether it is rapping to Vanilla Ice, or talking about sappy love stories we are never bored! Plus her sarcastic humor is a lot like mine!!! :) And most recently we like to hide each other top secret notes in the crannies of the LH! =)

6. Dallin-This kid is seriously the most amazing person I have ever met!!! He can make anyone laugh! Even the stubborn dishwasher Kevin! ;) If Dallin didn't sing to me all the time I don't think I would be the girl I am today! :) "I honesty Love him!" (hehe it's a song! Get it????) I love talking to him about random problems! He is also so insightful, gives good advice, and great hugs! Every time I walk into the LH and hear "JESSSSSIIICCAAA!!!!" I get so happy! It is Dallin!!! YAY!

7. Kim- I think I actually met Kim before Dallin, but we became friends after...allow me to elaborate: So when I first met Kim I honestly didn't really like her much, but I was soooo wrong! Without Kim, my life would be so...full of frowns! She turns my frowns upside down ALL THE TIME! She is hilarious, and not afraid to tell you what she thinks! She is actually shorter than me so that is pretty amazing! I love it when that happens! She is so spunky and cute! I love her!!!! :)

8. Tim-This kid is amazing! "swap and swivel!" to quote him directly! Oh my heck he is hilarious! I love love love working with him! He is quite possibly one of the nicest people I know! He is an amazing dancer..not that I have actually seen him do his killer dance moves (YET!) but I have seen the way he swivels his hips and does Elvis impressions! lol He's good! He is a really good listener! I would trust him with just about anything and I know my secrets are safe with him (and I hope he trusts me with his, because I still haven't told anyone! :)) And I can usually get some good feedback! I am so excited for him to go to Ghana! I will so be a groupie and write him all the time!!!

9. Danielle-this girl is hilarious!!! She makes me smile! I see her walking down the hall and instantly I am like yay! Danielle is here! My day is better! And she always makes fun of me for silly stuff, like: "gosh Jessica...don't drop things!" lol she is just funny! She is so attentive and I love it when I am her lead because she will do anything I ask her..WITH A SMILE! :)

10. Cynthia-Sarah's little sister naturally has to be included in a blog about Sarah! This girl is so awesome! The most recent thing I can think of is her earth-shaddering sneeze! haha it was HILARIOUS! Man fun times at the good old LH! I wish I had a sister like Cynthia. She loves and respects Sarah so much! It is so precious!

**I think 10 is a good round number, but I also love Penny, Tobin, Steve, Trevor, and Ellen L., and Jake! I love my amazing co-workers! They are all so wonderful! So since this blog is supposed to be about Sarah maybe I should enlighten you a bit on all of the radiance that is my wonderful friend Sarah! As you will notice she is totally on my top friends! She deserves it! She is one of the best friends I have made her in UT! She just gets me!

Sarah would tell you that we became friends after I told her a wonderful story about Brazilian pool players who dominate my school, I on the other hand would simply say that she was the coolest person and I wanted to be her friend so I tried to impress her! ;)

Sarah is a tall, with long red hair. She LOVES Latin guys...well basically all guys of any ethnicity besides caucasian! haha. That is also how we started our wonderful friendship! My best friend Rob is Mexican, so we would compare personality traits ect. It is always a blast working with her, hanging out, myspacing, texting and whatever else we do together! She is seriously the coolest person I know! I admire her so incredibly much!

She listens to everything I say and values it! She also makes sure no one cuts me off or interrupts me! And if they do (or she does) she always remembers and says: "ok sorry what were you going to say?" I love that! She knows that I hate it when people don't pay attention when I talk! Sarah O'Keef is loved by everyone at the LH! I love it when her and I are together! People are just like Sarah!!!! Jessica!!!! It makes me feel so loved! That is another amazing thing about her! She makes me feel loved! She knows of my myspace addiction and comment fetish and always leaves me the best comments! :) I love it when that "New comments!" pops up on my home page! OH boy!

I love it when Sarah is my lead! Especially on big functions! I know everyone will have something to do and she isn't afraid to tell them to get to work! She makes sure everything is organized and executed correctly! I really admire that! I also like it when she asks me what I want to do, and tells me I don't have to do dishes! It also makes me feel so special when she sends everyone else home but me because she wants us to walk out to our cars together. =)

Basically I love all that is Sarah! She is a funny person and our personalities just click! When I see that I am working with her I get so pumped to go to work!!! And when I am working with her and one or more of the other top LH friends my heart just bursts with excitement! I really love working at the Lion House because of all of them! They all know we don't get paid much, and it isn't a totally glamorous job, but the fun energetic atmosphere makes it a homey place to be! I feel so loved and accepted when I walk into Brigham's old house! Thank you all of my friends!!! And especially Sarah!!!!

20 keys to unlock Jessica's heart

So wanna know what makes me tick? Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy? Makes my heart sing with joy? Ok brace yourself! here it goes!!! If you want inside my heart here is what to do!!!!









1. Myspace comments!!! (any kind! pic, blog, messages ect!)
2. Texts
3. Humor
4. Eye contact
5. Good conversation
6. Music
7. Movies
8. Invites to hang out
9. Calls
10. Nick names
11. Honesty
12. Compliments
13. Flowers
14. Gentlemen stuff IE: Opening doors
15. Openness
16. FUN!!!! CREATIVITY!!!
17. Romance...(ok so I am a hopeless romantic!)
18. The arts IE: Plays, gallaries, ect. 19. HUGS!
20. High self esteem

So boys, take note! This is all you have to do to win me over! I may be a complicated girl at times, but mostly I just love to have fun and be myself! :)

You're in AMERICA...learn ENGLISH!!

Picture this:
You are planning a vacation out of the country. Say you want to go to Turkey. What is one of the first things you do in preparation for this trip? Well brush up on your Turkish of course!!! You cannot go into a foreign country with out at least making an effort to learn the basics of the language. If you are planning to take a short trip of course it is not necessary to master the language, or even come close, but you will want to know a few key phrases so you can at least communicate.

So now let's switch gears. Your trip to Turkey is AMAZING! You decide you want to live there for the next 5 years! You love everything about it and it offers many new opportunities for you! Now what is the first thing you do? LEARN THE LANGUAGE PERHAPS? Yes of course! You are going to want to start practicing. Once you actually settle in you will not be a pro, you will not be fluent in Turkish, but you will make an effort everyday until you finally master the language.

What if you could just go into a country and speak English? What if you did not have to learn the native language. What if you could just skate through with English. What if there were signs in English everywhere, when you went to the supermarket, and clerks were offered in English, the bank: English speaking tellers. Would you even bother to learn Turkish if that were the case?

NO! You would never trouble yourself more than you have to!
This is exactly what is happening in America!!! We are promoting laziness and sloth in our immigrants with the use Spanish language.

It is an unnecessary luxury to go into a foreign country and speak your native language. If you like speaking your native language so much why did you move? For example if you wanted America to be just like Mexico, then why did you leave Mexico?

I am in no way racist. I love people of all nationalities and have friends from all walks of life. Many of them are Mexican. My best friend Rob is from Guadilijara. There is a HUGE difference in respectable Mexican/American citizens who come into this country legally and learn English to the best of their abilities and succeed in life, and the illegals that utilize our multilingual opportunities and steal our benefits and health care. But why then when we hear the word "Mexican" do we suddently have a negative connotation in our minds? Well that is simply because of experience. We have been through a lot with the Mexican people. And our issue of language is not the only battle we are fighting.

I have so much respect for people who speak 2 or more languages. It is such a benefit for them and they will be so much more successful! I totally think that it is fair to offer people who excel in more that one language higher pay and better opportunities, but the thing we have to realize is that it is the multilingual person who is succeeding, and our country which is failing. In what other country do you hear threats of a secondary language taking over, or even a new language becoming primary in that country? None! That is simply because other countries don't put up with all the crap that we do!

Why in the world do you need your own personal teller at the bank who speaks your language? You don't! IF you learned English you would have more opportunities, and life would really be more simplistic for you.

To me moving to a new country means becoming multilingual. It is expected and respected. People have patience with new people learning the language. I know many people who struggle and I don't look down on them in the least! I respect them more for trying so hard, and love it when they tell me to correct them, and make sure they are getting it right.

I am not asking you to forsake your heritage or leave your past behind. Speak Spanish in your homes, teach your children Spanish, but do NOT go out into public places spouting off Spanish an looking for Spanish signs and Spanish service clerks. Do not call and press 2 for Spanish. Do not neglect to teach your children English simply because you don't feel it necessary.

This is one topic that really bugs me because in my life-time I have seen so much about immigration and illegal aliens ect. It just brings me to this conclusion: We are promoting it in America by the way we treat those of different nationalities.
I am not suggesting that we treat everyone like crap who is not a natural born American citizen mind you, but I am simply suggesting that we demolish these things that are bringing our country down. We are not the "United States trying to please everyone and make everyone at home"...We are the "United States of America". We as Americans stand for certain things and we cannot be torn down by the immigrants who are pulling us in every direction! We need to be united in every sense of the word.

What kind of unity is it when everywhere you go people are speaking a different language? What kind of unity is it when you call and get the option of pressing 2 for Spanish? It isn't unity. It is conformity. We are the USA. We stand for freedom, choice, and liberty! We should encourage growth from other countries after all our country is one of immigrants, but there are certain ways this has to be done so that America does not become Mexico, or China, or even Turkey. We are America. We are a sought after country. Why are we conforming so much that we are slowly losing our identity. Not only our personal identity, but our identity as a nation.

How is an American child for example, growing up in today's modern world ever supposed to feel at home when there is so much diversity and so many languages all around? And on that note, don't get me wrong. Diversity is a good thing. To an extent. God created each of us to be different and diverse. That is a wonderful knowledge that we have. But I don't think God intended for us to be so ready to please everyone else that we loose who we are ourselves. Or a better way to think about it: we are not meant to encroach on other people's personalities and expect them to be like us. And by this I mean not only be like us, but talk like us, act like us ect. We are individuals, from different walks of life, and we should learn from each other, but we should not become each other. We should not forsake our true selves.

This is an age old debate, I know, but as long as there are people calling me at work saying "habla espaniol?" I will always be outraged!

I want so badly to say to them! NO I SPEAK ENGLISH! THIS IS AMERICA! I WORK FOR AN AMERICAN LAW FIRM! Why would I speak Spanish? WHY?!?! But the problem is they can't understand me! They don't speak a lick of English! How frustrating!

So if you couldn't tell this is actually where the stem of my blog came from. Work. I get calls DAILY from people who don't speak English expecting me to understand Spanish. And they are not nice about it because they have become so accustomed to being waited on in the sense of speaking their language. I try to explain in English of course that no I don't speak Spanish and the lawyer who does is on the phone and they just yell at me in Spanish! I really don't think that we should even offer lawyers in Spanish! It really annoys me that we do! If you are engaging in the law in America, wouldn't you want to understand what is going on? You are so naive if you just simply trust your Spanish speaking lawyer. I really hope that he screws you over! (sorry! That is really harsh!)

MORAL OF THE STORY! LEARN ENGLISH POR FAVOR!

"You have a GREAT personality!"

Ugh! Have you ever heard those words uttered? "you have a great personality!" They are usually followed by the word "but." I have actually been thinking about this statement constantly lately. A letter I just received confirmed that I should blog about it!!! It went a little something like this:

"WOW! My companion just asked if I was writing to any chicas and I said yes. Then he said are they hot? and I said, it's not all about looks (only some) it's the personality that counts, and I mean you, because you have one of the BEST personalities I have ever met! And I'm not just saying that!"

Wow I have a good personality? Thanks! That is a great compliment! I really appreciate it! Honestly I do, but on that same token..what exactly does that mean? Are those words an easy way to say...you're ugly, but hey don't worry your personality is ok? Or in other words you are a good friend, but I would never go out with you because you aren't pretty enough. Is that how it works? Girls can either be hot OR have good personalities? Not both? Or is it simply the fact that I am not hot, but I do happen to have a good personality? It is just that Some girls have both, but I however do not? What is it? Someone please answer me this.

I mean don't get me wrong, I love to hear my personality is amazing because I know that is important! And I love me! I love who I am! But honestly! If guys were looking for amazing personalities why haven't they found me???

Answer: because they are more focused on looks. Apparently I have a great personality, but I must not be hot enough. Is that it? I like to think of myself as a cute girl. Am I totally mistaken in this assumption? I just don't understand! Sometimes honesty is the best policy...so be honest!

Another example of this feeling is the fact that I have TONS of guy friends...but no leads on a relationship. Apparently I am great to talk to, but not to date...why is that? Because I am a few pounds heavier than the ditsy blondes that guys seem to prefer? One of my best friends is a guy and we tell each other EVERYTHING, (including relationship drama...his of course) and he has even told me you are cute, and you have a GREAT personality and wonderful fashion sense! But I guess I'm just not cute enough, or hot enough...or something enough. If it isn't looks then what is it? Obviously I am missing something pretty vital! I am 19 and have never had a boyfriend. Is that a totally horrible thing to admit? It seems like it when I talk to friends who go through boys like I do flip flops. It seems like an embarrassing thing to admit that I am still VL. IS it? Is it a bad thing? What makes a good girlfriend if not a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen? If it isn't someone to laugh with/at, and do fun things with then what? Oh yeah...killer looks apparently! Yet another example I was reading something one of my friends wrote and it went a little something like this:(that always reminds me of that Aaron Carter's song Aaron's Party Come and Get It! haha "and it went a little something like this!")

"I was hanging out with my 3 friends (whom he actually names, but for this purpose shall remain nameless...I was one of the three) and it was so fun because 2 of them (the 2 who again he names, but the ones that aren't me) are super hot!" I was like um...ok....thanks...so what exactly are you implying by that??? I mean was it necessary to name the two of them and not me? Or why not just say because they were all hot? Maybe he didn't want to lie. Am I not hot? Is that why? I just don't understand! No comprendo! I'm supposedly this super fun girl with a winning personality, but people don't count themselves lucky to be my friend because....because I am not hot? Is that it? Oh boy...

Another dent in my armor is one of my friends. She is not at all BEAUTIFUL, she's cute...but she's really silly and immature (don't get me wrong I LOVE her to death! She is just not what I imagine a guy wanting). So why then does this girl get ALL the guys!!! Why? I don't understand! If personality is so important then why do the silly, ditsy, immature, cute girls get all the guys? Why do the average girls with "good personalities" get left in the gutter with tons of friends, but no relationships? Why life? Why are you so cruel? Will love ever find me? Oh gosh, sorry I sound like a baby right now, but I just had to get this off my chest! It is not something I would usually say out loud...ever! I usually bottle those type of feelings up and force them to the back of my mind pretending that they don't exist and won't fester up for a long time. I never let them out because I know it's not attractive! But apparently I'm not so attractive anyways, so I suppose it really doesn't matter! So I figure it is the best for me to release these feelings into air! Go little thoughts of self doubt, little butterflies of vanity, birds of egotism...go! be free! (haha..I was trying to be metaphorical!)

Complexity of the female mind

I was reading some of the things I have posted on other people's blogs and I decided to make a blog of it. I can be pretty ensightful! So I don't know if it will flow..we shall see eh?

You need to go listen to this song by the Wreckers it goes like this "Craaaazzzyyy people fall in love with me..." haha I think we all go through that! There is a classroom full of guys and one at the back of the room catches your eye. Does he hit on you? Nope...the guy two seats down does instead. He isn't cute, or charming, nor does he even possess good social skills. Why can't the cute guy at the end of the row just look your way? Guys are so indecisive and stupid! You can never tell if they like you or how to handle the situation if they do. But how do you really know if they like you??! I don't know! I have never really understood how you can go from crushes one day and bf/gf the next!!! I don't understand! maybe that is because I have never had a boyfriend and have been on like 3 dates (all of which went swimmingly! and I never got a return call!) Why can't life be like that Joan Jet song? "I want you to want me!" Bang! you want me! "I want you to love me!" woah! you love me! (so I stole that from John Tucker Must Die..lol) but honestly! Boys think girls are complicated, and they are so simple, but the fact of it is, boys are just as complicated as girls! They are not simple at all, unless you think that their simplicity is somehow complicated when it enters the female mind...hum...now that is food for thought! I don't know! As it stands right now I am just so confused and I have so much going on in my life I don't even want to deal with a crush, let alone try to unravel the mystery! I just want to have fun! So ask me on dates, or just hang out! Either way....I'm game!

It is weird and intense, but it is true!!! My whole roommate situation has brought me to tears numerous times (like 3 I think haha) and I NEVER cry! NEVER!!! I don't even remember the last time I cried before this! It is just so frustrating and I don't even know if crying solves anything...But somehow it seemed to be the release I needed. I too tend to bottle up my emotions and I put on this brave face like nothing in my life can ever be wrong. I am Jessica! People love me! My life is great!!!! But you know what? I am dying on the inside. I have never gone through anything like what I am going through right now with my roommates, I have never felt so alone, yet surrounded by tons of people before! I know that there are people who love me and would do anything for me, but at the same time sadly those people are taken to the back of my mind and the ones who want to hurt and destroy me are brought to my attention! "Why?" I am plauged with that retorical question?! "What" is also another close friend of mine. What could I have done differently? Why did things turn out this way? What is my role in it all. Why do people react the way they do? What happened?!?!?!?! It hurts and it is intense, but it's real. It's life. It's part of growing up and learning lessons I suppose. Something that has really helped me was to think of WHY this has happened to me? We all ask ourselves...why? why me? ect. the woest me attitude, but I think we should channel the "why" into a more positive ting. Why me? Use it in respects to what did God want me to learn. It really helps! Make a list of things you have actually learned, but actually think about the situation. It helps and you realize that you are more blessed then you think. :)

I would love to talk to strangers more, but there are so many creepy people out there it makes it really awkward!!! You try to say hi in a friendly way and people think you are hitting on them! It really is sad, but I avoid eye contact and listen to my ipod as I cross the street and ride in the elevator, even walking from my car to the school. I just sometimes don't want to feel the awkwardness of silence! And listening to my music is better than trying to think of something totally fake and unimportant to say. But on the other hand if the world suddenly became a friendlier place and every one was friendly in a strictly platonic way then I would totally unplug my ipod!! :) So I guess as a way for making excuses...I'll wait till that happens, but for now...if you are screaming my name, I am probably not ignoring you...I am just pugged in avoiding awkward strangers. hehe..

Lessons learned

List of things I have learned:

*People will do what they want and there is nothing you can do about it. You simply have to live and let live. If someone does something you don't agree with or do not like, you don't have to sit in quiet agony wishing it will go away! Get up and do something about it! You can make decisions within yourself to change, but you can't make other people change, nor can you change for others without changing who you are. To be truly happy you have to learn who you are and be happy with that.

*Don't get mad and offensive when others purposely want to offend you. It only gives them the satisfaction of knowing that you are as mad as they thought you would be. If you play it cool, don't get mad, and contrarily be super nice and understanding they will see the error of their ways (whether they admit it or not) and realize that it is they who are in the wrong, acting immaturely, and who should be seeking forgiveness.

*Laughter is the best medicine. When I am down I turn to my friends. They are the best! The ones that make me laugh are the best kind to have! I laugh really easily and it is such a blessing! I am always seeing the funny side of life. I love scarcasm (probably too much). I love just totally making fun of people, or yourself in 3rd person. It just makes me laugh so hard! Laughing is probably my favorite sport! It is so fun, you make memories and it's free! No equipment necessary! haha

*Good friends are hard to come by and irreplaceable. I have had to lean on my friends old and new so much getting through things these past few months! I have learned who I can go to and who I can trust with my deepest secrets, and who I can just have fun with, and also those who will just let me down and dissapoint me! As sad as that is, it is true!

*I can handle the truth! Most people can't handle the truth, but I have learned that I can.it is not always easy to change your perspective. Sometimes it hurts, and sometimes it is NOT what I want to hear, but I do appreciate it when some makes me step back and not only see things from a different perspective, but when they tell me the brutal honest truth! I respect them so much more! I have one friend who exemplifies this quality! He always tells me his REAL opinons on things and doesn't sugar coat it because he is afraid of hurting my feelings. I mean don't get me wrong I think it's cool that you are trying to protect me, but I won't get all offensive if you tell me the truth. I will take it and run with it. Find ways to improve. I would rather know the truth and feel horrible because it hurts then be running around doing something that is totally stupid and making mistakes that could be avoided by your experiences. I LOVE advice! It helps me make decisions whether I adhear to what you say or not.

*I need people. Without my friends I would have not gotten through these recent challenges! I really appreciate those of you who have been there for me in my times of need. You know when I just need to vent and hear that I am unjustifiably right! It really warms me heart and soul when I call someone up needing to talk and they not only hear me and give me advice, but show me that they are always there for me! THANKS!

*I am stronger than I ever thought I was! I haven't realized until just recently that my life has been a peice of cake!!! Last year my only drama was Rob's drama! lol. This year has been small challenge after small challenge until the recent ultimate challenge! It has been incredibly hard, stressful, aggrivating, unexplainable, and perplexing to say the least! I have handled everything in a way that I still am proud to say that I live my life with no regrets. I did the best I knew how in each situation. I forgave and moved on. I did not make myself "stuck" in the situation, I made my life work for me! I made sure I was comfortable and I was taken care of first. I never knew I had it in me!

*I have matured over the past year. There is so much I have learned and overcome! A year may not seem like a long time at all, but somehow I have matured a ton! I have learned a lot about people! Getting along with people is one of the most important skills one can master, and although I do not claim to have done so, I feel that I am a jedi knight in mastering that skill! ;) I am getting closer with each trial and argument. I am learning that I will not always get my way and I am NOT always right. I have been humbled in more than one situation and even those regarding my language by a mexican! haha. I think that I deal with it pretty well too!

*Sometimes it's ok to be selfish. When your own mental health is at stake be selfish! Do what you need to be happy! I have not been happy in my current situation, and I am MOVING! YAY! It could not be a better solution. At first I thought of it as running away from my problems, but I have realized (through the help of certain people) that I am not quitting, giving up, or running away! I am moving on! I did all I knew how to do, to make myself feel secure, but nothing worked, therefore I had to get out and leave those who create drama, to create more in which I am not involved.

*Sometimes you know in your gut what is best for you! One thing about getting advice is that sometimes people think one thing is best for you, but honestly they have no clue! Only you can decide what is best for you! I think I have become really good at that! I LOVE getting advice, sometimes I don't agree with it, but it gives me different perspectives and helps me realize that not everything is the way I think it should be at the time. Things change, people change, and opinions may change. It is not the advice, but what you do with it that matters. Most recently my mom had tried giving me advice, and I did NOT agree with it! It was totally the opposite thing I thought I should do! At first I let it affect my decisions to an extent and went against my gut and laxed my search of house hunting, then subsequential things happened and I suddenly found myself in a position that the only thing to do was pay more money to move into a better environment. For my mom's point of view it was not worht the extra cost, but in my mind the cost was nothing compared to the mental health I will be restoring! I know what is best for me in the long run, but I will be better off if I do what I think I should than what you think I should, or anyone else for that matter.