Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?" The girl said "NO." and she lived happily ever after and went shopping, drank martinis with friends, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had a closet full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny, and was never farted on.
THE END!
Can you tell how very pessimistic I am feeling about about boys and love lately? I have been feeling like I am never going to get married! This is usually how it works...Jessica sees cute boy...Jessica flirts with cute boy...Jessica and cute boy hit it off...cute boy does not ask Jessica out...Jessica obsesses over all of the details for about 2 weeks...Jessica looses interest and moves on....the end...or if it doesn't happen that way Jessica and cute boy become bff!!! ugh!!! I am so sick of being the friend. How can this be a good thing??? HOW? How can I find a husband, let alone a boyfriend if I can't even stay interested in one person for long enough to have a relationship? Or keep them interested in me as more than a friend?
I have also noticed that the more I find out about my guy friends, or crushes, or even potential crushes, the more I hate boys! ugh! Like my best friend and I tell each other everything...because of that I would NEVER go out with him! I know what he thinks and how he works, and it makes me sick! Is there a person out there whom I can know everything about entirely and still love, and want to spend an eternity with? I want to eventually marry someone who is my best friend, but it feels like the more I get to know boys the less I am interested in them that way. I learn their dirty little secrets, or their nasty habits and don't want any part of it. Is there someone out there whom when I know them completely I will still love them for all that they are and want a relationship with them. Is there a BEST FRIEND out there who I want to spend the rest of my life with???
I am so sick of being the friend! I want to be the girlfriend!!! I am the one everyone goes to with their relationship drama! I mean I like hearing about it and trying to help, but when is it my turn!?!? Last night I just sat there while my roommate and my best friend discussed the similarities in their love life predicaments! How boring! I just didn't have anything to say! I have no personal stories to add; all i have is advice concluded from observation. I want to be able to teach someone with my experiences. The way they and people in my life have talked about how bad relationships end or how frustrating and complicated they can be it makes me so sour against them! I don't even really want one anymore!!! Why don't I want a relationship?!??!?!
When I was a young'on I had this life plan for myself. I would be married by 20, have 3 kids, live in a 2 story house with a white picket fence that had green shutters, be married to the love of my life and best friend, and own/work in a salon that had a daycare in the front so my kids could still be with me. To my 13 year old mind that was the perfect life! Get my family started early and enjoy the rest of my life. But I am now 19..approaching 20 and I don't have any desire to be married right now!!! NONE whatsoever! I hate boys! ugh!!! And ya know I hate girls more, so I can't even be lesbian! haha (ew!)
It seems like marriage is more of a burden then a blessing. I am just so stressed about getting married and time frames, that things will never happen the way I want them to because I demand and expect too much.
Maybe there is a reason this mindset has suddenly entered my brain....maybe I was meant to go on a mission for my church. I have been thinking about that a lot lately. Maybe that is why I have no interest in boys right now. I have always told myself that I would go on a mission if I wasn't married, but I always thought I would be married by then! But maybe that is not the plan I should have! Maybe I need to go on a mission first! I just hope that when I get back prince charming isn't too far off in the future!
Another theory that Tim came up with is that the world is ending soon, so God doesn't want us to make a hasty marriage, he has the perfect person in mind, and doesn't want us to make a mistake, so we won't get married on earth, but in heaven...how depressing....I want to get married on earth!!! I want the perfect wedding complete with the perfect ring, dress, cake, pictures, ect...:( I have seen way too many weddings to not be able to have my own!
I don't know...either way...I feel so...pessimistic...that is the only word I can think of to describe it!!!
I know that all of us have this illusion that there is a perfect person out there for us, but is there really? Or maybe my idea of the perfect person is not what God wants it to be. I think that is another problem. My will is not as aligned with God's as it should be. I want to think that my soul mate is out there somewhere...waiting, but whenever I see a happy couple holding hands walking down the street I just think ugh! I want that! Where is it?! How do I get it??!
I am in UT for goodness sake!! I should be married by now! haha
I want to just get on with my life and enjoy it! I used to! I used to mask how single I was! But all of a sudden I have found a lot of people who feel the same way that I do, and I just can't contain myself anymore! I want to stop thinking about how single I am and how long I have been single. I want to stop worrying about how old I'll be when I get married, or IF I'll even get married!
My goals in life mostly revolve around having a family and how I am going to raise them. How the heck am I supposed to accomplish those goals if I can't get married??? And maybe I am being dramatic, but it's how I have been feeling lately!!! It is so aggravating!!! I am done with this phase of my life! I want to move on! And I am not even asking to be married right now per say, I just want a relationship! I have never had one....ever!!! It is so irritating to hear people who have had like 10 boyfriends and I am like...um...none..I mean come on! I at least need to have one!!!
I think I have also changed quite a bit. I am not the girl I used to be who had all of these deep goals and aspirations. I have become someone who procrastinates, doesn't give notice for days off at work, and who slacks on their homework and doesn't study for tests!!! Who have I become??? In high school I would have screamed at myself!!! I don't even know what happened! Guess little by little I have just been sliding down hill. I am trying to get myself back on the horse and ascending upwards, but it is so hard! Think of how fun it is to slide down a huge hill, but it is so much work to hike up to the top! Sometimes I avoid the hill all together just because I know that no matter how fun the slide downwards will be it just isn't worth it to exert myself that much on the way up.
What a rotten attitude! ugh!
This quote was on the Carrie Underwood CD I just bought:God puts us here on this carnival ride, we close our eyes never knowing where it will take us next.
I really love this quote! It is so inspiring and is forcing me to keep my chin up! You never know, around the next corner I could find the knight in shining armor I have been dreaming of!
One day when I was having a particularly bad day my friend Manuel suggested that we simply ask God to stop the earth because we want off! haha Then once we get off we'll keep our tickets in case we decide we want to get back on. I really loved what he said. It made me think about how much life is like a ride. We need to take the good with the bad. The incline with the decline. Right now we may be inching our way up to the climax, but once we reach the top we will be having the time of our life!!!
Someday my prince will come, he just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions! lol
If anyone has any advice or insight for me I could really use it!!! Don't hold back!
I heard this song and thought! Woah! I am totally feeling like that!!! "it's not like I'm not trying..."
THE END!
Can you tell how very pessimistic I am feeling about about boys and love lately? I have been feeling like I am never going to get married! This is usually how it works...Jessica sees cute boy...Jessica flirts with cute boy...Jessica and cute boy hit it off...cute boy does not ask Jessica out...Jessica obsesses over all of the details for about 2 weeks...Jessica looses interest and moves on....the end...or if it doesn't happen that way Jessica and cute boy become bff!!! ugh!!! I am so sick of being the friend. How can this be a good thing??? HOW? How can I find a husband, let alone a boyfriend if I can't even stay interested in one person for long enough to have a relationship? Or keep them interested in me as more than a friend?
I have also noticed that the more I find out about my guy friends, or crushes, or even potential crushes, the more I hate boys! ugh! Like my best friend and I tell each other everything...because of that I would NEVER go out with him! I know what he thinks and how he works, and it makes me sick! Is there a person out there whom I can know everything about entirely and still love, and want to spend an eternity with? I want to eventually marry someone who is my best friend, but it feels like the more I get to know boys the less I am interested in them that way. I learn their dirty little secrets, or their nasty habits and don't want any part of it. Is there someone out there whom when I know them completely I will still love them for all that they are and want a relationship with them. Is there a BEST FRIEND out there who I want to spend the rest of my life with???
I am so sick of being the friend! I want to be the girlfriend!!! I am the one everyone goes to with their relationship drama! I mean I like hearing about it and trying to help, but when is it my turn!?!? Last night I just sat there while my roommate and my best friend discussed the similarities in their love life predicaments! How boring! I just didn't have anything to say! I have no personal stories to add; all i have is advice concluded from observation. I want to be able to teach someone with my experiences. The way they and people in my life have talked about how bad relationships end or how frustrating and complicated they can be it makes me so sour against them! I don't even really want one anymore!!! Why don't I want a relationship?!??!?!
When I was a young'on I had this life plan for myself. I would be married by 20, have 3 kids, live in a 2 story house with a white picket fence that had green shutters, be married to the love of my life and best friend, and own/work in a salon that had a daycare in the front so my kids could still be with me. To my 13 year old mind that was the perfect life! Get my family started early and enjoy the rest of my life. But I am now 19..approaching 20 and I don't have any desire to be married right now!!! NONE whatsoever! I hate boys! ugh!!! And ya know I hate girls more, so I can't even be lesbian! haha (ew!)
It seems like marriage is more of a burden then a blessing. I am just so stressed about getting married and time frames, that things will never happen the way I want them to because I demand and expect too much.
Maybe there is a reason this mindset has suddenly entered my brain....maybe I was meant to go on a mission for my church. I have been thinking about that a lot lately. Maybe that is why I have no interest in boys right now. I have always told myself that I would go on a mission if I wasn't married, but I always thought I would be married by then! But maybe that is not the plan I should have! Maybe I need to go on a mission first! I just hope that when I get back prince charming isn't too far off in the future!
Another theory that Tim came up with is that the world is ending soon, so God doesn't want us to make a hasty marriage, he has the perfect person in mind, and doesn't want us to make a mistake, so we won't get married on earth, but in heaven...how depressing....I want to get married on earth!!! I want the perfect wedding complete with the perfect ring, dress, cake, pictures, ect...:( I have seen way too many weddings to not be able to have my own!
I don't know...either way...I feel so...pessimistic...that is the only word I can think of to describe it!!!
I know that all of us have this illusion that there is a perfect person out there for us, but is there really? Or maybe my idea of the perfect person is not what God wants it to be. I think that is another problem. My will is not as aligned with God's as it should be. I want to think that my soul mate is out there somewhere...waiting, but whenever I see a happy couple holding hands walking down the street I just think ugh! I want that! Where is it?! How do I get it??!
I am in UT for goodness sake!! I should be married by now! haha
I want to just get on with my life and enjoy it! I used to! I used to mask how single I was! But all of a sudden I have found a lot of people who feel the same way that I do, and I just can't contain myself anymore! I want to stop thinking about how single I am and how long I have been single. I want to stop worrying about how old I'll be when I get married, or IF I'll even get married!
My goals in life mostly revolve around having a family and how I am going to raise them. How the heck am I supposed to accomplish those goals if I can't get married??? And maybe I am being dramatic, but it's how I have been feeling lately!!! It is so aggravating!!! I am done with this phase of my life! I want to move on! And I am not even asking to be married right now per say, I just want a relationship! I have never had one....ever!!! It is so irritating to hear people who have had like 10 boyfriends and I am like...um...none..I mean come on! I at least need to have one!!!
I think I have also changed quite a bit. I am not the girl I used to be who had all of these deep goals and aspirations. I have become someone who procrastinates, doesn't give notice for days off at work, and who slacks on their homework and doesn't study for tests!!! Who have I become??? In high school I would have screamed at myself!!! I don't even know what happened! Guess little by little I have just been sliding down hill. I am trying to get myself back on the horse and ascending upwards, but it is so hard! Think of how fun it is to slide down a huge hill, but it is so much work to hike up to the top! Sometimes I avoid the hill all together just because I know that no matter how fun the slide downwards will be it just isn't worth it to exert myself that much on the way up.
What a rotten attitude! ugh!
This quote was on the Carrie Underwood CD I just bought:God puts us here on this carnival ride, we close our eyes never knowing where it will take us next.
I really love this quote! It is so inspiring and is forcing me to keep my chin up! You never know, around the next corner I could find the knight in shining armor I have been dreaming of!
One day when I was having a particularly bad day my friend Manuel suggested that we simply ask God to stop the earth because we want off! haha Then once we get off we'll keep our tickets in case we decide we want to get back on. I really loved what he said. It made me think about how much life is like a ride. We need to take the good with the bad. The incline with the decline. Right now we may be inching our way up to the climax, but once we reach the top we will be having the time of our life!!!
Someday my prince will come, he just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions! lol
If anyone has any advice or insight for me I could really use it!!! Don't hold back!
I heard this song and thought! Woah! I am totally feeling like that!!! "it's not like I'm not trying..."
More Boys I Meet – Carrie Underwood This boy here wants to move too fast He's sees my future as having a past Well, I don't think so I don't think so That boy there, well he's playing the fool He thinks he's funny and he thinks he's cool Well, I don't think so I don't think so Cheap date Bad taste Another night gone to waste Talking about nothing in so many words It's not like i'm not trying Cause I'll give anyone a shot once And I close my eyes And I kiss that frog Each time finding the more boys I meet The more I love my dog Here's the guy, thinks he's bad to the bone He wants to pick me up and take me home Well, I don't think so I don't think so Cage fights Playstation X-games raid a nation Oversized pants with an ego to match It's not like i'm not trying Cause I'll give anyone a shot once And I close my eyes And I kiss that frog Each time finding the more boys I meet The more I love my dog Why can't they be like the ones that mean everything to me Warm and loyal, open and friendly It's not like i'm not trying Cause I'll give anyone a shot once I close my eyes And I kiss that frog Each time finding the more boys I meet The more I love my dog The more I love my dog
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